Could our relationship with our body be any more complicated? Asking for a friend. Obviously.
However, what could be a simple shopping-trip-impulse-buy for some, becomes something a lot more, when you bring in a long history of body issues, a healthy dose of body dysmorphia and generally low body image.
I shared on Instagram recently, that I do struggle with sizes still – I still view myself (and order clothes) as the me-that-was-17kg-heavier – almost not trusting that I can now order smaller sizes. And, trust becomes a bit of a theme here – as I also don’t trust what I see in the mirror.
This is also why I tend to take – and have – so many photographs of myself. Somehow, it’s easier to look at a photograph objectively, than to look at myself in a mirror.
I don’t have a solution – or an expert advice, or even amateur advice, come to think of it – but, want to offer a little glimpse into what you often don’t see on social media.
While I try and work on my own confidence, and encourage you to do the same, there are also very, very many moments where I love something and don’t buy it because it shows my knees. My arms. Or one of the many other body parts I’m particularly self-conscious about. Or when I look at a photograph and pick apart every lump, bump and curve.
Something that this journey has taught me is that our body image – and views – are largely unrelated to our weight. Many of the thoughts I have now are the same as when I was 4 sizes bigger.
So, it’s perhaps worth considering the problem is never your body.
And, if you’re in the same boat – please know that you aren’t alone.
What do you think?